Let’s Hear It For The Boys…
For the Valentine blog, I decided to dedicate it to men, asking them what Valentine’s Day meant to them and their interpretation of romance.
I thank each and every one of them for their enthusiastic responses and no-holds-barred, shooting-from-the-hip responses.
Bruce, 35 years old: Guy’s do all the heavy lifting when it comes to romance and relationship continuity in general. We have to be the funny ones, the witty ones, the date planners, the impresarios. Girls just show up. If girls want a tip – step up your game. Put into it what you want to get out of it. You expect a guy to romance you – romance him. You expect a guy to do for you, do for him. Gotta give action to get action.
Angelo, married, 50 years old: “Valentine’s Day is a “f@!@!@” cash grab. Ten dollar roses on the corner all year jump to fifty bucks! It’s worse than the ice storm people who jacked up the prices of generators on people who are in their “f@!@!@” houses “f@!@!@” freezing . . .”
Angelo’s wife’s response: ”Now you know why we go out for Valentine’s Day on February 13. IF we do go out, because I can only listen to so much “I can make this f***in stuff at home for half this price . . .”
Ty Drago: “I’ve been married to my best friend and the most beautiful woman in the world for more than twenty years. Valentine’s Day is one of those days of the year when I get to tell her that. There are 364 others.”
Tom Cosentino: Although over-hyped and over-commercialized, Valentine’s Day allows men to appreciate their significant other and, consciously make an effort to recognize how special they are. Although we should do this all the time, men do need a kick in the butt and having Feb. 14 as an annual date to remind us, reminds us to keep it in our the mindset for more than one day.
Rick Wilcox: This year I’m going to be away from my wife on Valentines Day and it’s just killing me. We’ve raised 4 kids and now have 7 grandchildren, and after 30 years of marriage she’s still my sweetheart. Of course, my parents were married for 62 years, so Dad would call that a good start.For me, romance is all about intimacy, and nothing is more intimate than poetry. My wife says the most romantic moment of our life was a rainy night I read poetry to her while sitting on the front porch swing, listening to a gentle summer thunderstorm. I sat on the swing and she laid next to me with her head in my lap.That was a slice of heaven.
I asked my wife and she said it was a spontaneous kiss, sitting in my pickup eating pizza and watching a sunset the first year we were married. She said it tops every 5 star place we’ve dined around the world.
Michael John Sullivan, married: I find Valentine’s Day to be intrusive and forced upon me. On this particular day I’m expected to dazzle my lover with a shiny or sparkly gift. However, I love the idea of it to be part of the fabric of any relationship. I am a romantic. I prefer treating my honey to a wonderful candlelight dinner with Sinatra singing Summer Wind. A slow dance makes the evening more enchanting. But, since we have two teenage daughters, kiss that idea goodbye!!
Fun Guy, married, 56 years old: What I would find romantic on Valentines Day is to have your wife meet you at the door in a very sexy and revealing outfit (without kids) and have an evening planned of physical activities 
with dinner ordered in. Hot bath together, wine, cheese, grapes, sexy movie and then the rest is XXX. Valentines Day should be a day for both parties to make sure at least once a year they reconnect and spend time together to reignite the flame they had when they first met….look at each other, talk, and discuss there future needs, desires etc………doesn’t need to be expensive….just time together with no interruptions…without this. Valentines Day is just a big commercial money grab…..
Dan, single dad, 43 years old: For me, Valentine’s Day has always been a Hallmark holiday, turning husbands and boyfriends into panicked buffoons hoping either to get laid or stay on the good side of their better halves. I’ve never appreciated forced romance. However, here’s something for you. Like I said, not sure if it’s what you want.
Romantic? I’m not a roses and dinner kind of guy. I can’t dance and hanging out at a bar with a date sure doesn’t rev my engine, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a concept of romance (at least I hope I have one…)Here’s what I find romantic-It’s a Friday night. We’ve just finished dinner and we’re settled in for the night. The phone’s unplugged and I put an old movie in theDVDplayer. She’s never seen it before and since it’s an old movie I’m a little nervous that she might not like it. After a little while I can tell she’s into it. She laughs at all the right spots, she sighs, she wipes away a tear. She leans over and when our shoulders touch, she smiles and tells me that she likes it. I’ve seen the film at least a dozen times before, but on this particular night it’s like we’re both enjoying it for the first time.
Yeah, I know it’s not the most exciting scenario, but this is as good as it gets. For me, rediscovering a great movie with someone special is a real romantic moment – simple but affecting nonetheless.
So, what do you think?
Personally, I think men and women are similar on what we find romantic. I also think there are many women out there that believe Valentine’s Day is highly commercialized. Would love to hear your thoughts on the above comments and about Valentine’s Day in general.
Stop by and check out more fun Valentine Day Musings:
The Son-in-Law Project – Nancy Lauzon, Chick Dick Mystery Series
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Posted on February 14, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged Bachelors, Husbands, Lovers, Men and Romance, Valentine. Bookmark the permalink. 48 Comments.
Male perspective is always great. I agree with Michael. I can see that is forced upon a man to come up with something elaborate. As a woman there are years, too many in fact, that I barely got any recognition. I have no expectations, but flowers every now and then would be nice, but shouldn’t be just reserved just for Valentines Day but spread over the course of the year. Children complicate the matter. Me being one who survived a breakup of 11 years, would say make sure you take time out for each other without children. Not just reserve it for one day. Sometimes it’s the smallest things that mean the most to a woman. Good luck guys and Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
Thanks for your thoughts, Madison. It is the small touches that makes a woman’s heart open even wider for her man, as the small touches for a man do the same to him. I totally agree with you about not reserving the affection and the little gestures for just one day, and giving your relationship top priority.
I think Valentine’s Day is very commercialized. I will be married 23 years in March and I told my husband that flowers through the year as a “just because” would have so much more meaning to me than just receiving them on Feb 14. I no longer get them on Valentine’s Day because I do get them throughout the year. It has a whole lot more meaning. We do the Happy Valentine kiss though and that’s all we need.
I’m right there with you, Tina. My husband doesn’t buy me roses, he planted me a whole rose garden. Each year, he plants a different type of rose. We also don’t go out and buy each other anything for Valentine’s Day. We do however, send each other text messages throughout the day, but then again, we do that anyway. LOL
I too agree that it’s become so commercialized like most of the other Holidays. Just a few hours together, maybe over a romantic dinner and saying I Love You becomes a moment to just take the time. I loved Ty’s response. Itt came right from his heart.
Happy Valentine’s Day all.
Carol L
Lucky4750 (at) aol (dot) com
Hi, Carol, thanks for stopping by. A lot of the guys agree with you about the commercialization and I think because of that a lot of men feel pressure to make this day a spectacular event.
Glad you enjoyed the blog.
Happy Day!
I am very, very lucky. My husband is a true romantic. I get very special “just cause I love you” gifts all year long when I least expect them. We celebrate Valentine’s Day with a special dinner and “coziness” because we want to not because it is foisted upon us.
Hi, Angee, I am blessed with a romantic husband as well. It’s funny, I’m the romance author, but he’s a bit more romantic than I am. LOL He also surprises me when I least expect it, so I don’t get bent out of shape if he doesn’t go “all out” today. Celebrating time together any time we can, is a gift we both cherish all year long.
I think Valentines’s day is commercialized and forced on men. Some men need that little push. It does mean more to me if they do something for no reason at all. The little things mean the most. I am married to a may that usually doesn’t do anything but has surprised me a few times. Those times meant a lot to me. I guess my hubby is just not romantic at all.
quiltlady110 AT gmail DOT com
Hi, Quilt Lady, thanks for dropping by.
I think every person views what is romantic in a different way. Perhaps for your hubby, surprising you is his way of expressing romance.
I really don’t believe that romance is all about chocolate, candlelight dinners and diamonds. If one receives those, great, because they are also gestures of caring. However, the connection of friendship, love, trust and knowing your partner is there for you and has your back, that is very romantic.
I would agree with the over-commercialized Valentine’s Day. Sure, I love to get red roses, but I don’t need them on V-day. My DH and I aren’t doing anything special today, but we will be kid-free this weekend, and will be celebrating our love then.
Hi, Jessica, Kid-free zones are VERY romantic.
Have a wonderful weekend.
If you don’t appreciate & show your love all year long, then going all out one day of the year just does not cut it. I don’t need the hype or gifts, just respect & love.
marypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com
Hi, Mary, I think you summarized all the thoughts of the men I interviewed in your post. I’m with you on the hype and gifts.I’d rather have a loving husband who supports and respects me.
I found it interesting that the men who were most negative about Valentine’s Day didn’t use their last name. I disagree with Bruce, I find that it’s usually the women I know who put the most work into trying to keep things romantic and relationships moving. “Guys do all the heavy lifting” PLEASE!
I don’t expect expensive roses and diamonds, but a little something I’d like that says I was thinking about you is good on V-Day and randomly throughout the year. I know i do this.
Hi, Anne,
I encouraged the men to be honest and up front with their feelings, so I don’t think there was a positive or negative, it’s the way they feel.
As for not using their last name, it wasn’t because of their comments, that was my call, as some of them are not public people (like writers, artists etc.) and I wanted to maintain their privacy. They were not trying to hide.
I’ve heard from both sides about men having to be the one to initiate things and keep the romance going at the beginning of relationship. I think it’s all based on personal experiences of what each person has gone through, like everything else.
I think we all agree that one day out of the year isn’t enough, which is a good thing.
So Valentine’s Day is commercialized. Big deal. It’s a day where you can eat chocolate and not feel guilty about it. *g*
Meljprincess AT aol DOT com
LOL Mel. Chocolate is part of a healthy diet, so I NEVER feel guilty about having an ounce of my favorite….dark Godiva chocolate.
Enjoy the treats today.
I’ve been married 12 years and today a romantic night would be Subway, Ty taking care of homework with the girls, a bubble bath and snuggling with a movie at home.
Hi, Sarah, thanks for giving us your thoughts and sounds like you have a wonderful night lined up.
It’s all about spending time together isn’t it?
Have a wonderful evening.
It is very commercialized, but Valentines is all about love and its that one day that should be special. You should do something sweet and let the other know how much you care. If you don’t, then you don’t really care. I prefer a meal my guy cooked any day to going out. christina_92 at yahoo.com
HI, Christina, thank you for visiting the blog today.
I prefer dining at home as well, but tonight, it’s my treat. I’ll even light a few candles, but we do that on a regular basis anyway. So in our household, there’s not much difference, except I’ve been sending him goofy text messages all day. LOL
After reading Bruce’s comments I feel sorry for the woman in his life,
I do think Valentine’s Day is too commercialized and I have to rebel when I am expected to celebrate it.
Hi, Maureen and Rita, thank you both for dropping by.
Historically, Valentine’s Day isn’t really a romantic holiday, it’s rather tragic. However, I think whatever makes a couple happy and brings some fun into their lives, then it’s all good.
Everything is commercialized these days, and I think it’s up to each of us to personalize it so that it doesn’t seem forced.
I never worry about Valentine’s Day being commercialized. But then when I was single I also didn’t go into depression when I didn’t have a honey to give me a valentine.
I do think women have to tell men what they want and not expect the guy to read their mind. My hubby and I don’t generally make a huge deal out of Valentine’s Day. We give each other cards and have dinner out. This year I decided I wanted chocolate and I told him about three weeks ago I think it was. So this morning I got two cards, one funny and one sentimental and two boxes of Godiva chocolate! Yummmmmm! Tonight it is dinner out. 
I agree with you, Denise. We can’t expect them to be mind readers. If we say we don’t want them to buy anything, then we can’t expect anything.
BTW, Godiva-giving, should be a national holiday all on its own. Enjoy!
Without mentioning any names, I can see why some of these men are single or soon to be!!! I will mention one name because he melted my heart – Rick Wilcox. Your wife is one lucky lady (and I bet you are one lucky guy too).
Hi, Catslady, thanks for dropping by. All these guys are wonderful in their own way. There is a lid for every pot and a gal for every guy, depending on how they mesh.
I’ve seen bachelors who claim they don’t have a romantic bone in their body, melt into a puddle when they meet THE ONE.
Valentine’s Day, like all holidays, is too commercialized. I tell my husband not to get me anything…and I mean it!!! He is the most romantic person I know & is always bringing me little gifts home because as he says “I saw this and thought of you” The spontaneity means more than any holiday’s commercialized event and expected gift. Those heartfelt moments with a kiss and a cuddle and him telling me how much he loves me are worth more than anything he could buy. After 40 years with my love & best friend, I know that I am one of the luckiest women alive. Every day is Valentine’s Day! Even the tough times make us pull together, so I couldn’t ask for anything more than to walk through life with him by my side. I wish everyone was as blessed as I am.
Penny, beautifully said. How blessed you both are. May you enjoy 40 plus more years together.
I don’t think it should be seen as a holiday just for women to get a gift…we should get our guy something to! And also, treats for everyone!
I totally agree, which is why for the past two years, I’ve dedicated the Valentine’s Day blog to the men in our lives.
Enjoyed reading the comments today. Women are lucky to have romantic husbands who share this romantic day.
Hi, Joy, thanks for popping in. I think romance is always in the eye of the beholder. What I find romantic may not be what another woman finds romantic.
Great comments by some of your male readers. Enjoyed those comments of the romantic-type guys.
Glad you enjoyed it, Jackie.
My hubby and I don’t usually do a lot of celebrating on Valentine’s Day since my birthday is two days after. We will probably go out to dinner on my birthday. On Valentine’s Day we just pay more attention to each other. We’ve been married for almost 37 years now and this works for us!
Hi, Annalisa, thanks for dropping by. Happy Birthday!
Add my name to the “Equal Opportunity Holiday” listing! I’m for honoring us all together, the guys and the gals!!
Pat Cochran
Two thumbs up, Pat. I truly do not think it’s just for the woman.
After 49 years married to a wonderful hubby , I tend to think stores dwell on people’s wallets too. I rather have a bag of candy kisses then a heart full as what do you do with the paper heart after it is empty..toss out after a time. I am simple and do not need presents that are double in price to make me happy. I have a loving husband around all the time. This view is from both my husband and myself. susan Leech garysue@dejazzd.com
Congratulations, Susan, may you enjoy many many many more years together.
I agree with you, we are the same. This year we gave each other silly Valentine cards, the type we used to get as kids. When I asked my husband to give a quote for this blog, he really didn’t have anything to say, because he said, “Honey, we have it all covered all year round.” LOL
Love it! Your post, that is, NOT Valentine’s Day. We don’t give it any credence here, except that my kids wouldn’t miss the candy haul from school. Here’s my 10-yr-old’s perspective on the day, his Valentine’s card for all of his friends:
http://dirtnkids.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/img002.jpg
LOL Shannon, that is priceless. Your son is witty and artistic.
Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed the blog.
Thanks again to the men who participated in the blog and for all of you visiting and commenting. It’s been such fun to read everyone’s perspective.
I’m giving out a gift certificate to one commentator and after holding a draw, using random.org, the winner is….Madison Johns.
I’ll email you, Madison with details for picking up your gift certificate.
Please stay tuned, there are a lot more prizes to be won on this blog and free books, when Nancy Lauzon author of the Chick Dick Mysteries, is going to launch her 4th book in the series and will be giving away LOTS of books.
Stay well, everyone!
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