1. If your significant other is mad, put a cape on them and tell them they are now “super mad.” If they laugh, they’re a keeper.
2. To keep cake real moist, eat it all in one sitting.
3. Laughter and a nap will cure anything.
4. Master the art of self-deprecating humor–it leads to appreciating all humor.
5. Every time we make stupid people famous, a unicorn dies. Don’t do it.
6. For cheap entertainment, go to a shopping mall, stop, and stare at the ceiling, and check out how many other people will stop and stare.
7. Don’t throw away your old electric toothbrush head, it makes an amazing jewelry cleaner.
8. Revive limp celery by standing it up in an ice-cold glass of water. This ONLY works for celery. 😉
9. Parents can always make their children behave in public, simply threaten to sing loudly.