Selena Robins, Author

When a critique request turns unexpected.

Besides writing, I also offer critiquing and editing services, and I received an email from Anamica Jayne, a new writer, asking if I’d be willing to critique and edit her novella.

To my surprise, the attached project was an erotic novella – a genre I don’t typically read or write. I emailed Anamica to let her know this was not my area of expertise, however, she still wanted to hire my services.

After thinking about it, I agreed because in reality, I could critique any genre and point out any technical issues.

When Anamica communicated with me, via email, she always addressed me as Mistress Robins, and her narrative read like someone who spoke in broken English.

As I read her novella, I realized the content was beyond what I had expected, as this was a hard-core erotica tale, more suited for male readers than females, in my opinion.

I have a close friend (for the sake of my friend’s anonymity, I’ll call her Natasha) who reads a lot of erotica stories.

I emailed Anamica and asked her permission to forward her novella to a close friend of mine to get a second opinion. Anamica responded that she would rather I not share her work.

I finished the edit and sent it back to Anamica with my suggestions. I explained that it was challenging for me to fully grasp the plot and her characters’ arcs.

I also highly recommended that she get a second opinion, and so I sent her few links that I thought could assist her with publishing goals for her novella. I encouraged her to keep writing, and wished her well with her publishing journey.

She thanked me and told me she wanted to send her payment via snail mail. In cash.

I highly recommended that she not send cash through snail mail and directed her to Pay-Pal.

She said she didn’t trust sending funds through the Internet.

I then suggested mail me a check.

She said she had no checking account and could only pay me in cash.

Although I found this odd, I reiterated that sending cash through the mail wasn’t safe, but she insisted, so I gave her my P.O. Box number.

A week later, I received a package in the mail at home. It was Janet Evanovich’s (one of my favourite authors) CD collection wrapped as a gift with a card attached that said, “Thank you for the wonderful critique and encouragement. Here’s a gift to express my gratitude.” Signed Natasha (my friend).

I was confused. Why was my friend thanking me?

I hadn’t critiqued anything for Natasha in a long time.

I called Natasha to tell her I received her gift and asked her why she was thanking me in the first place.

Natasha couldn’t stop laughing and then imitated a broken English accent: “Thank you, Mistress Robins.”

After a few seconds, it all clicked together.

The erotic author, Anamica Jayne, was my friend Natasha in disguise.

My friend explained that it was the reason she purposely wrote in broken English as a disguise and she couldn’t use PayPal or send a check—as I would then know it was her.

Natasha wanted me to critique this novella without me knowing it came from her. Because the novella was a lot more hard-core than she knew I had read, and she wanted me to read it without knowing that it was her.

The phrase laughing my ass off is not an exaggeration in this case.

Natasha said she cracked up when she read my email asking if I could send the manuscript to a “good friend for a second opinion” because she knew if she had said yes, I’d be calling her to discuss the project, and she knew she would not have been able to keep a straight face or stop herself from losing it.

We still laugh about this stunt to this day.

I’ve had many pranks pulled on me by friends and family. It’s not hard, as I tend to be gullible (sometimes), but I must say, this was epic.