Selena Robins, Author

Adulting is a never-ending improv show with no script—we’re usually just winging it.

But fear not—that’s what these life tricks are for. A few are a little questionable, but if they make life a smidge more straightforward (or at least more entertaining), isn’t that a victory?

Insert light bulbs into old doll heads in your guest rooms as night lights. (This is only for unwanted relatives.) Yes, that’s mean, but you won’t have to worry about them overstaying or returning.

Parents: Need your kids to behave in public? Threaten to sing loudly. Bonus points if it’s an embarrassing song from their favourite cartoon. Double bonus points if you have dance moves.

If you burn dinner, call it ‘gourmet combustion’ or ‘flame-kissed cuisine.’ Fancy words will make it sound like a Micheline-starred fare.

To keep cake moist, eat it all in one sitting. You’re welcome.

Revive limp celery by standing it up in an ice-cold glass of water. Please note: This ONLY works for celery. 😉

Need a quick confidence boost? Ask a 5-year-old how you look. They’ll either call you a superhero or compare you to a potato. Either way, it’s character-building.

For cheap entertainment, go to a shopping mall, stop, and stare at the ceiling, and see how many other people stop and stare.

When someone asks you a question you don’t know the answer to, say, “That’s classified.” They’ll either think you’re important or leave you alone. Win-win.

Every time we make stupid people famous, a unicorn dies. Please don’t do it. Save the unicorns. (And your sanity.)

Master the art of self-deprecating humour. It’s like a free pass to laugh at yourself before others do. Bonus: It makes you seem funnier, even if you’re not.