Interviewing a Sinkhole

Yes, you’ve read the title of this blog correctly. I have interviewed a Sinkhole.

I bet you’re wondering if my Yoga classes have finally driven me to discombobulated meditation (or temporary insanity)?

Nope. Not yet, anyway.

I’ve been following @174Sinkhole (as he’s known to the world, via his Twitter account) for the past few weeks, and have discovered that sinkholes have feelings, dietary needs, (cars mostly, but he’s not against trying out a bus) and has provided a strong voice for sinkholes worldwide.

Sinkhole’s Twitter Bio:

Total number of pipes, 30

Pipe re-lining, $1.7M

Emergency Work, $3.2M

Emergency Services/Police $200K

Talking Sinkhole, PRICELESS!

A lot of people (over 2,000 Twitter followers, plus the media)  have been speculating as to Sinkhole’s gender.

Well, speculate no longer.

I guarantee you that Sinkhole is a male. How do I know this? His answers to the first few question during the interview.

Selena: Welcome to my blog, Sinky, (I can call him that, we’ve bonded on Twitter).  Thank you for taking time out of your traffic reporting updates to answer a few questions and allowing us to get to know you better.

First question, in your world does size matter?

Sinky: Yes.

(Slam dunk. Sinkhole is a dude. Back to the interview)

Selena: Why?

Sinky: Size is your livelihood, the bigger you are, the longer you are going to last.

Selena: Can you tell me about your down time? What do you do when there’s no traffic?

Sinky: I read dirty magazines e.g. Car and Driver..oooooooooohhhhh, yeah!

Selena: What is your theme song?

Sinky: Fixing a Hole by the Beatles

Selena: I’ve heard people refer to you as a pot hole, does this upset you?

Sinky: Yes, potholes are really just sinkholes that haven’t made it to the big league yet. Wannabes, not quite there…very shallow for the most part.

Selena: Good to know. We all can rest easy knowing the politically correct term for a pot hole….I mean sinkhole. What is your average day work like?

Sinky: Chat with my fellow Sinkholeans during the morning commute and then try to help them deal with the stress of the trip home in the evening.

Selena: Have you bonded with any of the constructions workers? Police Officers? Media? Rubber Neckers?

Sinky: No, not really, they have generally tried to stay as far away as possible from me, especially while they were in their vehicles.

Selena: If Steven Spielberg were to call and wants to make the movie ,“Close Encounters of the Sinkhole Kind.”  Who is your choice to play you?

Sinky: James Earl Jones – because of the voice.

Selena: Where are you in the hierarchy in Sinkholeville?

Sinky: I am the president and mayor of a town of one.

Selena: What would your profile say on Match.com?

Sinky: If you don’t have a car I am not interested.

Selena: I read on Twitter that you’re drafting your will. Who are your beneficiaries? What are you leaving them?

Sinky: You know it’s funny I decided I was going to write a will then I realized I didn’t have a pen or paper or a hand or arms for that matter to even write with, so I gave up pretty quickly.

Selena:  There are plenty of inanimate objects that need a strong voice and with 2,000 followers on Twitter (congratulations by the way, that’s a great turnout in just a few weeks) your super sinkhole powers can be put to good use.

How about coming back as a romance hero’s pants? Or how about Godiva Chocolate? All the ladies would be impressed. Actually, I think your resume would be more suited for a Rubik’s Cube, because people would have a hard time figuring you out. What’s in store for Sinky, now that you’re about to be paved over?

Sinky: I’m not really sure what I am going to do next. I’ll probably go underground for a while. It’s been a fun couple of weeks but being a public figure is tough!

Selena: It’s been a pleasure Sinky. We all wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors. Well, not really, a sinkhole has not been fun for the people who have had to sit in traffic for hours.

If anyone has an opening for an inanimate object who needs a strong voice, we welcome your suggestions.

You can follow Sinky on Twitter @174Sinkhole for a guaranteed daily dose of laughter.

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25 thoughts on “Interviewing a Sinkhole

  1. LOL. This was really funny. I agree— Sinky is definitely male. I just have to wonder what kind of cars he finds most attractive. Or does he prefer trucks or the ambiguous SUVs?

  2. LOL. I’d never even heard of sinkholes until I moved to the east coast. In California, we just had earthquakes. All in all, I’d rather have a quake than find my car ten feet down a hole.

    Now that you’ve interviewed Sinky, I think it’s time you interview Mr. Pothole, just to be fair to the holes of the world. And when you finish with them, I have a suggestion for another kind of ‘hole’ you can interview – my neighbor. First name begins with A and followed by two of the letters, s.

    • Thanks for stopping by my blog, Marquita. 🙂 I’m thinking this is a good way to take my blog. Great idea. Must look around for more objects that are willing to brave my questions. The remote control would be a good one. I wonder how they feel about being handled so much by men? LOL

  3. Selena, any person who delights in threatening to kill kittens in front of children is too scary. That’s the most awful of his faults, but there also many others. This is why I believe in God – people like this must be punished in the end. Of course, I doubt this guy will go to heaven. LOL

    I’ll make him a villain in one of my books. Then I can legally take care of him.

  4. Hi Sinky!
    Great to meet you! (whispering) …Selena, I love you but you do know your talking to a hole in the road, granted a large one? Maybe you need to try a little gluten??
    Are you going to work him into one of your novels? ” The Love of a Sinkhole Prince”? Hmmmmm. You need to be watched! 🙂

    • LOL Pat. I do realize he’s a hole, but he does have a voice and feelings, I’m an equal-opportunity-make-no-sense-blog blogger. I think my family would agree with you about needing watching, but then again, they’re used to the way my mind works.

      We are all waiting for 5:30. Sinky is going to be interviewed on TV, and we will finally see who he is. LOL I kind of liked the mystery, but rumors have been circulating that’s an ex-politician. I DON’T BELIEVE THAT. They are NOT FUNNY! LOL Will keep you posted…. Love you back.

  5. Selena, I know I can count on you for a great interview. Hi Stinky, Its great to meet you. I have often wondered about the culture of your kind. Only viewing you from in a car and traveling at 70 miles an hour just doesn’t give us a full understanding of your ways and lifestyle. Thank you for allowing Selena into your world and I hope your personality never erodes. Good luck and keep in touch. 🙂

    • Hi, Heidi, thanks for stopping by and giving us your witty thoughts. LOL

      Sinky has really gone under, they paved over him, but I did hear from him an hour ago, and he’s doing fine. He’s working on a new personality to emerge so he can keep his Twitter followers entertained with his brand of great Canadian humor.

      He was on the news and we finally got to see his human form. I’m sure he’ll come back and visit once he finds himself. LOL

  6. Very cute. Sinkholes definitely something we Floridians are familiar with. Lucky so far not up to close and personal. Sorry Sinky.

    • Hi, Katy Beth, thanks for stopping by. I hope you stay far away from Sinky’s Floridian relatives. Don’t feel too bad for Sinky, he is now famous, he was on TV tonight. LOL I am betting he going to reincarnate into something a lot more interesting. Stay tuned.

    • Hi, Moira, thanks for dropping by.

      Yes, the world has lost Sinky, but the cars have gained more access to a highway. Sinky is going to do just fine. He has so many offers to reinvent himself. Kind of like the proverbial cat, only for inanimate objects.

  7. Selena, I’m late but I finally got a chance to read this. Very funny! I can say I’ve never read an interview with a sinkhole before! I’m kind of sad he’s paved over, but since you say he’ll be back I’ll keep my eyes open. So who was it? Do I keep following Sinky even though he’s gone?

    • Hi, Steph, glad you enjoyed my interview. There’s a stapler on my desk that looks sad, I may interview it. LOL

      Yes, keep following Sinky, he is in the process of reinventing himself. I drove over him last night, not a peep, I think he’s way under, but I’m sure we’ll be hearing more from him.

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