Many of you have emailed me and asked about Jewel and Blake, wanting to know what happened next?
Did they end up getting married?
Did Blake discover any other secret babies out there?
Did Jewel cover up her double d’s?
Did Blake get a hair transplant?
This is how all it went down after they walked off the blog and into that place where all romance hero and heroine’s go.
(For those who have not read Jewel & The Billionaire Dream Man – A Romance Parody, please click here).
Please Note: No unicorns or rainbows were utilized in the making of this epilogue.
Jewel and Blake went back to Jewel’s place.
Blake just had to see—with his one good eye—exactly what the P.P. room looked like.
Jewel waxed Blake’s neck and back—once an Esthetician always an Esthetician.
Blake broke out in rash but sucked it up. Once an alpha-romance man, always an alpha-romance man.
Rash or no rash, he got through the epilogue, however it did put a damper on Mr. Big’s performance.
Jewel wanted to know more about Blake. How did he become a billionaire?
Blake was a Geek Tycoon—he had invented the @ key for keyboards.
He has the @ symbol tattooed on his calves, toes, and a string of @’s snaking all around his thighs.
Jewel has scaredofsymbolphobia—a fear of symbols.
She broke out in a rash when he dropped his polyester pants.
They broke up.
Blake is still building rooms in different coffee shops as he hooks up with other heroines from the Double-U-Double-U-Midsummer-Night-Dream-Man-Dating-Site Dot com.
Jewel is still searching for her dream man. She does miss Billionaire Blake though, and when she thinks of him she always gets a hankering for Ketchup—the stain on his T-shirt and on Secret Baby’s bib kick-started her preserving tomatoes clock.
Welcome to Tasty Tuesday
Jewel’s Delicious Homemade Ketchup
(This is delectable Ketchup & could also be used as BBQ sauce)
2 (28 ounce) cans peeled ground tomatoes
1/2 cup water
1/2 TBSP honey
3/4 cup red wine vinegar
2 tsp. minced sweet onion
2 tsp. roasted garlic (or 1/2 tsp. garlic powder)
2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. mustard powder
1/2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
- In a slow cooker (crock pot) add: ground tomatoes, water, honey, vinegar, onion, garlic, salt, celery salt, mustard powder, black pepper, cayenne pepper and whisk it all together.
- Cook on high for 10, stirring every hour.
- Remove cover from the slower cooker, and cook for an additional 2 – 3 hours, uncovered so that the mixture reduces to a thick consistency.
- Ladle the ketchup into a fine strainer and press mixture with a big wooden spoon into a big bowl.
- Cool completely.
- Taste and season with additional salt & pepper if you feel it needs it, and at this point you can also add more cayenne pepper if you want it spicier.
Let’s wish Jewel and Blake all the best and hope they find what they’re looking for.
Maybe they’ll show up in Muffy and Sven’s story?