Selena Robins, Author

Metaphors—we all use them in speech in and in writing so I thought I’d have some fun with some common metaphors that if you really think about it, don’t make a heck of a lot of sense.

Walking on eggshells, which is a metaphor for talking to someone who has a bad temper in which the slightest sound or disturbance may send them off into the Kingdom of Royal Pissdom.

Take a bunch of egg shells and spread them all over the floor, then try walking on them. You can’t. Whatever you do, you’re going to make noise, crack the shells, make a mess and your efforts to not disturb the raging maniac you’re in the room with becomes obselete. Not to mention, if said pissed off person hates a mess around them or the crackling noise, they may go all Terminator on you (ah, just used a metaphor for an angry person, but this I can visualize…an unreasonable anger-management candidate getting all Terminator like).

The elephant in the room is a metaphor for people to ignore a serious issue that exists but they don’t want to talk about said serious issue.

I don’t know about you, but if there were an elephant in the room, I’d get the hell out of there. Seriously, how can one ignore it? Unless you’re real handy with a gargantuan pooper scooper, and even then, I wouldn’t want to be standing behind an elephant.

Rolling in dough references someone who has a lot of money.

First of all, if someone is a bazillionaire, they’d probably have a full staff to roll around in dough, mud or a vat of Jello. Secondly, making dough is simple and cheap to do…flour, water, eggs and yeast.

Eats like a bird is used to describe someone who doesn’t eat much.

Birds need a ton of energy to fly and look for food, prey on smaller birds and they take up residence at bird feeders without paying rent. They eat a LOT and often. Besides, I don’t know many people who perform face plants in their dinner plates.

Clean as a whistle. As long as nobody has already blown into a whistle, because if they did, I certainly wouldn’t want to be metaphored  as my house having saliva all over it.

Have you ever met-a-phor that gives you a visual and makes you think…”Huh?”