Boy, was my face green (and not with envy)

PLEASE NOTE: Re-posting this post for the new followers and those who have not read this post before and also the fact that I am buried under edits and revisions.

I hope you enjoy it. 🙂

Beauty products can be costly and filled with harsh chemicals with ingredients you can’t even pronounce let alone truly comprehend if they are even good for our skin. In some of these expensive products, some of the ingredients can be found in your own home.

I’m going to share some products you can make in your own kitchen, but first wanted to share an experience I had which left my face green with embarrassment.

It was the middle of winter, with temperatures that would send a polar bear shopping for a fur coat. Everyone was complaining about the weather. Except for me. I craved ice and frigid temperatures.

A week earlier, I had endured an injection which I needed for a small procedure…(I know, what you’re thinking “endured?” it’s just a freakin’ needle, trust me, when it comes to needles, I’m all about the drama)…anyway, the side effect which should be called a main effect was hot flashes that made me feel as if I had an internal furnace stuck at 150 degrees. I was also instructed not to have any caffeine. No problem, I don’t drink coffee, and in my mind that’s the biggest caffeine culprit. Oh yes, I know, chocolate supposedly has caffeine, but in my opinion there couldn’t be that much caffeine in a tiny piece, right?

One weekend, my husband’s relatives were visiting from England. I’ve never met these relatives, and they arrived rather late and I was out shopping, so I didn’t have a chance to greet them. When I got home, my husband said they were jet-lagged and wanted a hot shower and sleep. They went to bed early.

It was 6:00 a.m. the next morning, my favorite time of the morning when the house is quiet and I have some “me” time to meditate, organize my day, check emails, and give myself a facial, which is what I decided to do that particular morning.

I mixed up my homemade avacado facial mask (this recipe–for the mask, not the disaster–is listed at the end of the blog, plus other recipes for smooth, healthy skin).

I smeared the mask all over my face and neck and sat in my den and noticed a huge Cadbury bar on my desk (I’m talking family size—if the family had ten members). There was a note on it, saying it was a gift from my husband’s relatives. I unwrapped a small corner of the bar, intending to just have a small bite.

After relishing the sweetness of this wonderful, unexpected gift, I felt a hot tingle.

It started on the tip of my nose traveled around my jaw, and within a few seconds my whole face felt like it was on fire—the needle’s main effect had kicked in.

I was in the midst of a severe hot flash—so freakin’ hot, I’m sure I could have sizzled bacon on the top of my head.

I ran to the the back patio door, opened it and stuck my head outside, breathing in the freezing cold air.

Well, I had forgotten to turn the house alarm off.

WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO – damn thing was loud enough to wake Rip Van Winkle up and have him jump out of a story book.

My neighbor had been walking her dog.

Who goes out that early to walk their dog in the winter, anyway? She ran over and rang our doorbell.

Who would ring a doorbell to a house with a burglar alarm blaring?

I couldn’t rush to the alarm’s keypad fast enough to shut the alarm.

Our dog barked as if he were competing against the alarm as to what could make the loudest noise.

Everyone—including the in-laws I haven’t met as of yet—dashed downstairs, talking over each other to find out what was happening.

The neighbor was now banging on our door and wouldn’t stop until my husband answered it and let her in.

And me, standing in the midst of all this, with the now melting green mask dripping down my face, holding a gargantuan bar of chocolate with a few missing pieces.

The phone rang. It was the alarm company.

To this day, I don’t know why I decided to answer the phone instead of closing my eyes and pretending I was sleep walking, but I answered the phone.

Lady from the alarm company wanted to know my password to verify I was the homeowner.

I couldn’t remember the password.

I told her I was Mrs. Robins and I had accidentally tripped the alarm.

Alarm company lady, “I’m sending the police.”

“I told you,” I said. “I forgot the password, no need to call anybody.”

Everyone stood around me, staring at my green face, my massive chocolate bar and giving me strange looks.

“I’m telling you, I’m one of the homeowners. I’m fine. Thank you for calling.”

The alarm company lady wouldn’t let it got. “Please provide me with the password or I will call the police.”

“You want a password,” I said (actually I screamed, in the key of C). “I’ll give you a password. I had a hot flash, because of some stupid needle. I needed fresh air, I snuck chocolate. Send the cops, I don’t care anymore. I’m busted anyway. Do you know what it’s like to have a side effect that makes you want to perform a burlesque act in the middle of winter outside? Well, do you?”

My husband gently took the phone out of my hand, gave the alarm company the password, told the neighbor everything’s fine and got rid of her. He told our guests to go back upstairs, we’ll talk later.

He opened a few windows, gave me a hug and told me to go take a shower and not worry about anything.

His relatives were wonderful and we all enjoyed a good laugh and decided it wasn’t something we needed to discuss any further. Well, until I just now shared it with all of you.

P.S. I did call the alarm company to apologize for my shouting and I have since memorized the password. I also will never give myself a mask, nor will I wear my husband’s T-shirt and neon pink fluffy slippers when we have house guests.

Now, let’s save money and use it for important things like books and shoes and not overpriced facial products.

Cleanser, Toner, Scrubs, Masks & Lotions you can make at home.

Yogurt Cleanser which will also exfoliate:

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. plain Greek Yogurt (or you can also use Plain Yogurt)

Mix together, apply all over your face and leave it on for about 3 minutes, then gently massage it into your skin. Rinse off first with warm water, and then splash cold water.

Pat dry.

Toner:

Rose water.

You can buy this at any health food store.

Dab a cotton ball with a small amount and dot it around your face after you cleanse.

Oatmeal & Mint Scrub:

1 cup oatmeal

½ cup dried mint leaves

Put them in a blender until they are all ground up. Put this in a jar as you will only use this once per week, or once every two weeks.

Take a palm full of this mixture, add a bit of water and gently scrub your face in smooth circular motions with the pads of your fingers.

Rinse well, first with warm water, then cold water. Pat dry.

The INFAMOUS Avocado Mask:

2 TBSP. mashed avocado

½ tsp. extra-virgin olive oil

Note: (If you have oily skin, skip the olive oil and ADD HONEY instead, just add enough honey to make it tacky so it will stay on your face)

Mix well and put in fridge for about 15 minutes, to get the mixture to chill.

Massage onto your skin and leave on for 10 – 15 minutes, while you lay back and relax. Just don’t get caught with green all over your face, see above incident. J

Remove with wet, warm soft cloth.

Rinse face with warm water, then splash cold water. Pat dry.

Peaches and Cream Mask: 

1 ripe peach

1 TBSP organic honey

1 tsp oatmeal

Peel and cook the peach until it’s soft enough that you can mash it.

Add the honey and the oatmeal, so that it makes a paste. If you need to add a bit more oatmeal, you can.

Apply to your face, sit back and relax for 10 minutes.

Rinse well. Then splash warm water, then lots of cool water. Pat dry.

Cucumber Anti-Wrinkle Cream

½ seedless cumber (leave skin on)

1 egg white

2 TBSP Mayonnaise

½ cup olive oil

Put this all in a blender.

Apply some all over your face in the morning and evening. You don’t need to leave it on for long, just a few minutes. Then wipe off, gently with cotton balls. Rinse with warm then cold.

Vitamin E

Buy a bottle of Vitamin E capsules, snip off the capsule, squeeze the vitamin E out and dab around your eyes, forehead, anywhere that you need that extra boost of Vitamin. A lot cheaper than buying those serums that have Vitamin E, because they do the same thing.

Green Tea

Brew a large pot of green tea (buy a good quality Green Tea from a Health Food Store). After stewing the tea in hot water, cool it down and put it in a glass jar and keep it in your fridge. Dab it on your skin with a cotton ball, makes for a great moisturizer. You can rinse your face with this tea or spritz your face during the day.

Green tea, as with all the ingredients listed above are natural soothing, anti-aging and healthy ingredients both for your insides and outside.

Happy glowing everyone.

Please drop me a line and let me know if you tried these and also if you have any homemade tips, please share with us all.

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12 thoughts on “Boy, was my face green (and not with envy)

  1. roflmao I’m not interested in the facials but had to say thank you for telling your story – you must have a wonderful sense of humor to share this with everyone and it did give me a wonderful laugh!!!

    • Glad you enjoyed it, Catslady. Yes, humor has helped me keep sane. Good thing my husband appreciates it too. LOL He also has a great sense of humor, only he doesn’t get himself into any predicaments, that’s my job.

  2. I know it was a moment you won’t forget, it’s easier to laugh about things than cry in your beer (who wants watered down beer anyways). sue leech

  3. Great stuff – avocado is evil pure and simple – going to give the oatmeal and mint a go – two of my favourite foods – so applying to my skin is a no brainer! Best wishes.

  4. Haven’t tried any of the recipes as yet, but I am printing
    them out for later use. I plan to share them and your
    story with my daughters. BTW, I still have a smile on my
    face from the story!

    Pat C.

  5. Pingback: Recipes from my Erotic Garden « Selena Robins Musings

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