Secrets to a great relationship — Lots of f*****g

I bet you think you know what the F***** is all about, don’t you?

I bet your mind headed south (a place mine goes most days) thinking that’s what the secret to a great relationship is—lots and lots of f*****g.

Well, you’ll just have to read on to find out what this f*****g is all about   1
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Please note: The following secrets which I believe lead to a happy relationship are my opinion only, and are not based on any scientific research, because I’m not scientifically inclined.

 

My Top 25

(In no particular order)

1. Flirt with each other and never stop dating. Replicate the things that got you together in the first place. For example: sitting on the couch and neck up a storm, holding hands at the movies…you know like you did when you first started dating.

2. A bad memory.

3. Fight fair. Duke it out in a reasonable way, and if you can add some humor during the sparring, all the better. Bursting out laughing during a disagreement leads to joint laughter which leads to some good old fashioned make-up lovin’. Mainly, let each other know what you’re pissed off about, get over it, and move on.

4. It is said that couples should not go to bed mad at each other. I say, go ahead and go to bed mad. However, you both have to get naked, sit on the bed, facing each other and hold hands. Nobody is going to go to sleep mad. Guaranteed.

5. Those important three little words: “Let’s go out.

16. Like each other. Yes, love is important, but so is liking the person you spend most of your time with. This is the thing that got you together in the first place. When you were friends, and enjoyed being together. It will be the strong friendship that will get you through the times when you annoy the begeebers out of each other.

7. Separate closets.

8. Separate bathrooms.

9. Pick your battles. Guys: put the seat down. Gals: If he puts toilet paper roll over the top, or under—it doesn’t matter. The fact that he replaces it is cause for celebration.

110. And now for the “F” word. FUNNING of course. Have fun and lots of it. Tons of ways to bring back the euphoria of all that fun you had when you were dating—splashing each other in puddles, walking in the rain, texting each other naughty messages (just don’t punch in the wrong number, it’s one of those awkward moments, not that happened to me or anything 🙂 ), crank up the music and dance around the house together, have a pillow fight. Whatever you choose to do, have fun doing it.

11. Read a romance book together.

12. Cook together.

13. Patience. Not only with each other, but with yourself.

14. If one of you is a morning person and the other isn’t, then do not have breakfast together.

15. Togetherness is great, I’m a huge advocate, but I also think it’s conducive to one’s sanity to have separate interests, and passions that are just yours. You can then bring something new to the discussion to chat about.

16. Be polite to each other. Thank you. You’re welcome. Please. All those words our mamma’s taught us when we learned how to talk.

117. Always have a supply of sticky notes on hand, and leave each other some notes—in the car, briefcase, pillow, laptop case….use your imagination. Leave, thinking of you notes. Just wanted to say hi. Be naughty. Be nice. Be funny. Anything goes.

18. Sometimes silence really is golden. You don’t have to express every thought to each other.

19. Be each other’s star in your fantasies.

20. Hire someone to paint the house. Unless one of you really enjoys doing it, and wants to do it.

21. Don’t put pressure on each other for a perfect birthday gift, Christmas gift, Valentine’s gift….give each other something special when you want to do it, and not because you feel you have to do it.

22. Talk about what you admire about each other. This is especially helpful if one of you is ticked off at the other. Mentally checking off the things you really like and love. Repeating that helps eliminate the ticked-offness.

123. Compliment each other. You do it for others, then do it for each other, because you need to treat each other even more kindly than you treat others.

24. Take care of YOU first. Think about it. When on an airplane, you’re advised to put on your oxygen mask first in case of emergency, so you are able to take care of your loved ones. Same with life. Take care of YOU first. It will make it a lot easier to take care of the ones you love.

25. Engage in fun, nonsensical pillow talk.

Embrace all the choices life has to offer. Love is a choice. Happiness for yourself and for each other is a choice. Maintaining a sense of humor is a choice. Choosing to overlook the imperfections, and knowing that your choice to be the best you can be for yourself, will automatically spill into your relationship, and will help make life a whole lot easier.

 

There’s no such thing as a perfect person, or relationship, so scrap that whole notion, because it doesn’t exist.

Love. Live. Laugh.

Every love story is beautiful. Make yours, your absolute favorite.

 

 

An Erotic Prank.

Besides writing, I also offer critiquing and editing services.

I received an email from a new writer, asking if I’d be willing to critique and edit her novella.

To protect this author’s identity, I’ll refer to the author as Felicia Gallant. Anyone who used to tune into Another World will recognize that name–she was my favorite character. Wouldn’t we all love to write in silk PJ’s, a feather boa, and Mr. Rock Hard Abs holding a flower, and a lampshade? 🙂

 

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Okay, back to aspiring author Felicia who contacted me.

In her request for editing services, Felicia attached her project.

An erotica novella.

 

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I emailed Felicia back to let her know that I don’t write erotica nor have I read much of it, and asked if she still wanted to go ahead and hire me?

She wrote back, saying that wasn’t a problem as she still wanted me to give her suggestions on how to strengthen her story, and to point out any technical issues.

I accepted, because I could still critique any genre based on a story’s goal, motivation, conflict, characterization, plot, and mechanics.

In her communication with me, Felicia always addressed me as Mistress Robins, and her emails read like someone who spoke in broken English.

Felicia then emailed to let me know she wanted to send me payment via snail mail. In cash.

I highly recommended she not send cash through the mail, and directed her to Pay-Pal.

She said she didn’t trust sending funds through the Internet.

I then suggested she send a check.

She said she didn’t have a checking account, and could only pay me in cash.

Although I found this odd, I reiterated that sending cash through the mail wasn’t safe, but she insisted, so I gave her my P.O. Box number.

As I started to read her novella, I realized the content was beyond what I had expected.

This was a hard-core erotica tale, more suited for male readers than females, in my opinion.

I have a close friend (for the sake of my friend’s anonymity, I’ll call her Natasha) who reads a lot of erotica stories written by male authors for men.

I emailed Felicia and asked for her permission to allow me to forward her novella to a close friend of mine to get a second opinion.

I waited a week for a response from Felicia, but she never responded. I took her silence to mean it wasn’t okay for me to get a second opinion, so I didn’t share her work, and kept on with my editing and critiquing.

I finished the edit and sent it back to Felicia with my suggestions. I explained it was a challenge for me to fully grasp the plot, and the characters behavior in the story. I also highly recommended she get a second opinion on my suggestions, and sent her a few links that I thought could help her with publishing her novella, and encouraged her to keep writing, and wished her well with her publishing journey.

A week later, I received a package in the mail at home. It was a CD collection wrapped as a gift with a card attached that said, Thank you for the wonderful critique and encouragement. Here’s a gift to express my gratitude.” Signed Natasha (my friend).

I was confused. Why was my friend thanking me?

I hadn’t critiqued anything for Natasha in a long time.

So I called Natasha to tell her I received her gift and to ask her why she was thanking me in the first place.

Natasha couldn’t stop laughing and then imitated a broken English accent: “Thank you, Mistress Robins.

After a few seconds, it all clicked together.

The author, Felicia, was really my friend Natasha in disguise.

 

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My friend explained it was the reason she purposely wrote in broken English, and why she couldn’t use Pay-Pal or send a check because then I’d know it was her.

She wanted me to critique this novella, without me knowing it came from her, and because the novella was a lot more hard-core than she knew I read, she shied away from giving me a heads up about the project.

I think I put a rib out-of-place that day, laughing so much with her on the phone. She did say it was an awesome critique even though she knew it was a challenge for me to understand some of the actions, dialog, and plot points.

Natasha said she cracked up when she read the email to Felicia about asking a “good friend for a second opinion,” because she knew if she would have said yes, I’d be calling her to discuss the project, and she knew she couldn’t keep a straight face or stop herself from laughing.

I still laugh when I think about that day.

I’ve had a lot of pranks pulled on me by friends and family, it’s not hard, as I tend to be gullible (sometimes), but I must say, this was epic.

 

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Boy, was my face green (and not with envy)

PLEASE NOTE: Re-posting this post for the new followers and those who have not read this post before and also the fact that I am buried under edits and revisions.

I hope you enjoy it. 🙂

Beauty products can be costly and filled with harsh chemicals with ingredients you can’t even pronounce let alone truly comprehend if they are even good for our skin. In some of these expensive products, some of the ingredients can be found in your own home.

I’m going to share some products you can make in your own kitchen, but first wanted to share an experience I had which left my face green with embarrassment.

It was the middle of winter, with temperatures that would send a polar bear shopping for a fur coat. Everyone was complaining about the weather. Except for me. I craved ice and frigid temperatures.

A week earlier, I had endured an injection which I needed for a small procedure…(I know, what you’re thinking “endured?” it’s just a freakin’ needle, trust me, when it comes to needles, I’m all about the drama)…anyway, the side effect which should be called a main effect was hot flashes that made me feel as if I had an internal furnace stuck at 150 degrees. I was also instructed not to have any caffeine. No problem, I don’t drink coffee, and in my mind that’s the biggest caffeine culprit. Oh yes, I know, chocolate supposedly has caffeine, but in my opinion there couldn’t be that much caffeine in a tiny piece, right?

One weekend, my husband’s relatives were visiting from England. I’ve never met these relatives, and they arrived rather late and I was out shopping, so I didn’t have a chance to greet them. When I got home, my husband said they were jet-lagged and wanted a hot shower and sleep. They went to bed early.

It was 6:00 a.m. the next morning, my favorite time of the morning when the house is quiet and I have some “me” time to meditate, organize my day, check emails, and give myself a facial, which is what I decided to do that particular morning.

I mixed up my homemade avacado facial mask (this recipe–for the mask, not the disaster–is listed at the end of the blog, plus other recipes for smooth, healthy skin).

I smeared the mask all over my face and neck and sat in my den and noticed a huge Cadbury bar on my desk (I’m talking family size—if the family had ten members). There was a note on it, saying it was a gift from my husband’s relatives. I unwrapped a small corner of the bar, intending to just have a small bite.

After relishing the sweetness of this wonderful, unexpected gift, I felt a hot tingle.

It started on the tip of my nose traveled around my jaw, and within a few seconds my whole face felt like it was on fire—the needle’s main effect had kicked in.

I was in the midst of a severe hot flash—so freakin’ hot, I’m sure I could have sizzled bacon on the top of my head.

I ran to the the back patio door, opened it and stuck my head outside, breathing in the freezing cold air.

Well, I had forgotten to turn the house alarm off.

WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO – damn thing was loud enough to wake Rip Van Winkle up and have him jump out of a story book.

My neighbor had been walking her dog.

Who goes out that early to walk their dog in the winter, anyway? She ran over and rang our doorbell.

Who would ring a doorbell to a house with a burglar alarm blaring?

I couldn’t rush to the alarm’s keypad fast enough to shut the alarm.

Our dog barked as if he were competing against the alarm as to what could make the loudest noise.

Everyone—including the in-laws I haven’t met as of yet—dashed downstairs, talking over each other to find out what was happening.

The neighbor was now banging on our door and wouldn’t stop until my husband answered it and let her in.

And me, standing in the midst of all this, with the now melting green mask dripping down my face, holding a gargantuan bar of chocolate with a few missing pieces.

The phone rang. It was the alarm company.

To this day, I don’t know why I decided to answer the phone instead of closing my eyes and pretending I was sleep walking, but I answered the phone.

Lady from the alarm company wanted to know my password to verify I was the homeowner.

I couldn’t remember the password.

I told her I was Mrs. Robins and I had accidentally tripped the alarm.

Alarm company lady, “I’m sending the police.”

“I told you,” I said. “I forgot the password, no need to call anybody.”

Everyone stood around me, staring at my green face, my massive chocolate bar and giving me strange looks.

“I’m telling you, I’m one of the homeowners. I’m fine. Thank you for calling.”

The alarm company lady wouldn’t let it got. “Please provide me with the password or I will call the police.”

“You want a password,” I said (actually I screamed, in the key of C). “I’ll give you a password. I had a hot flash, because of some stupid needle. I needed fresh air, I snuck chocolate. Send the cops, I don’t care anymore. I’m busted anyway. Do you know what it’s like to have a side effect that makes you want to perform a burlesque act in the middle of winter outside? Well, do you?”

My husband gently took the phone out of my hand, gave the alarm company the password, told the neighbor everything’s fine and got rid of her. He told our guests to go back upstairs, we’ll talk later.

He opened a few windows, gave me a hug and told me to go take a shower and not worry about anything.

His relatives were wonderful and we all enjoyed a good laugh and decided it wasn’t something we needed to discuss any further. Well, until I just now shared it with all of you.

P.S. I did call the alarm company to apologize for my shouting and I have since memorized the password. I also will never give myself a mask, nor will I wear my husband’s T-shirt and neon pink fluffy slippers when we have house guests.

Now, let’s save money and use it for important things like books and shoes and not overpriced facial products.

Cleanser, Toner, Scrubs, Masks & Lotions you can make at home.

Yogurt Cleanser which will also exfoliate:

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. plain Greek Yogurt (or you can also use Plain Yogurt)

Mix together, apply all over your face and leave it on for about 3 minutes, then gently massage it into your skin. Rinse off first with warm water, and then splash cold water.

Pat dry.

Toner:

Rose water.

You can buy this at any health food store.

Dab a cotton ball with a small amount and dot it around your face after you cleanse.

Oatmeal & Mint Scrub:

1 cup oatmeal

½ cup dried mint leaves

Put them in a blender until they are all ground up. Put this in a jar as you will only use this once per week, or once every two weeks.

Take a palm full of this mixture, add a bit of water and gently scrub your face in smooth circular motions with the pads of your fingers.

Rinse well, first with warm water, then cold water. Pat dry.

The INFAMOUS Avocado Mask:

2 TBSP. mashed avocado

½ tsp. extra-virgin olive oil

Note: (If you have oily skin, skip the olive oil and ADD HONEY instead, just add enough honey to make it tacky so it will stay on your face)

Mix well and put in fridge for about 15 minutes, to get the mixture to chill.

Massage onto your skin and leave on for 10 – 15 minutes, while you lay back and relax. Just don’t get caught with green all over your face, see above incident. J

Remove with wet, warm soft cloth.

Rinse face with warm water, then splash cold water. Pat dry.

Peaches and Cream Mask: 

1 ripe peach

1 TBSP organic honey

1 tsp oatmeal

Peel and cook the peach until it’s soft enough that you can mash it.

Add the honey and the oatmeal, so that it makes a paste. If you need to add a bit more oatmeal, you can.

Apply to your face, sit back and relax for 10 minutes.

Rinse well. Then splash warm water, then lots of cool water. Pat dry.

Cucumber Anti-Wrinkle Cream

½ seedless cumber (leave skin on)

1 egg white

2 TBSP Mayonnaise

½ cup olive oil

Put this all in a blender.

Apply some all over your face in the morning and evening. You don’t need to leave it on for long, just a few minutes. Then wipe off, gently with cotton balls. Rinse with warm then cold.

Vitamin E

Buy a bottle of Vitamin E capsules, snip off the capsule, squeeze the vitamin E out and dab around your eyes, forehead, anywhere that you need that extra boost of Vitamin. A lot cheaper than buying those serums that have Vitamin E, because they do the same thing.

Green Tea

Brew a large pot of green tea (buy a good quality Green Tea from a Health Food Store). After stewing the tea in hot water, cool it down and put it in a glass jar and keep it in your fridge. Dab it on your skin with a cotton ball, makes for a great moisturizer. You can rinse your face with this tea or spritz your face during the day.

Green tea, as with all the ingredients listed above are natural soothing, anti-aging and healthy ingredients both for your insides and outside.

Happy glowing everyone.

Please drop me a line and let me know if you tried these and also if you have any homemade tips, please share with us all.

Popping the Book Signing Cherry

PLEASE NOTE: Re-posting this blog for the new followers and those who have not read this post before and also the fact that I am buried under edits and revisions.

I hope you enjoy it. 🙂

The Year I Popped my Book Signing Cherry

This was it—the print run of my first novel was hot off the press and it was time for some old-fashioned promotion. I headed for a vacation and a book signing in the state that gave us Mickey Mouse, the Golden Girls and hopefully the breaking story on the ten o’clock news of a Canadian author needing assistance for crowd control for the hundreds of romance readers, clamoring to get their own autographed copy of my book.

The latter did actually happen—in my dreams.

During the flight I had envisioned line-ups of avid and excited readers, chants and a harried book store manager in a panic, because we’d run out of books—all 1,000 of them. I had rehearsed my smile, my version of the royal wave and witty answers to the myriad of questions the readers were dying to ask.

Turns out the book store was a literary boutique located near a university and filled with sleek, stylish furniture, complete with a wine bar.

And NO romance section.

After a few anxiety induced minutes, I managed to crush the urge to run away and instead decided to make the most of the situation. I put on my game-face and mentally prepared to pave the way to lure literazzi type readers, Deepak Chopra and Anthony Robbins fans into the romance genre.

I know what you’re thinking—that I was in total denial to the realities of this competitive business. Denial gets a really bad rap by self-help gurus, but personally, I’ve found it helpful at times.

This was definitely one of those times.

I sat at a table near the wine bar and managed to sell four books to one customer—said customer happened to be an acquaintance of mine, but she did buy three extra copies.

Jacked up on a few ounces of confidence (and red wine) I submerged myself into the power of positive thinking and eyed my next challenge—a couple of women perusing the classic literature section, while sipping sinfully expensive bottled water.

I smiled.

They smiled back.

They approached my table. Both of them had a glimmer of excitement, sparkling in their eyes.

Ah ha. I knew it. I know that look. They had all the makings and glow of die-hard romance readers.

That look of high anticipation, salivating for something romantic to read. The feeling they had discovered a new romance author and couldn’t wait to talk to her, and flip through her book, perhaps read the first chapter and then buy a book for themselves and (fantasy still in full force) a few copies for friends and family.

Oh, yes, all the markings of readers, hankering for something to sink their teeth in…

Chocolate.

They had been ogling the gigantic bowl of Godiva sitting on my table.

I pushed the bowl toward them and told them to knock themselves out.

Since then I have armed myself with a more realistic approach to book signings. (I still have that crowd control fantasy going on from time to time, but hey, a gal has to dream, right?)

Fortunately, being better prepared and having learned through that first signing, I’ve had tremendous success in book stores—having done my research and homework, I made sure the stores had a romance section and I still do bring goodies to hand out.

During my later book signing adventures, I’ve met many men who’ve purchased an autographed book, claiming it was for their wives, moms, sisters, aunts—a lot of women out there named Tom, Dick and Harry.

I’ve met the dynamic duo. (not Batman and Robin) Buffy and Muffy who announced with pride that they could write a romance novel in a weekend…giggle giggle, as they sipped their double latte concoctions, flipping through tabloid magazines. I gave them my best smile and wished them luck with their writing and even volunteered to edit it after their weekend of just churning one out, because as we all know it’s just that easy. Of course I also told them, they probably wouldn’t need an editor, I mean writing a book in a weekend must be an amazing talent, and I’m thinking it would be ready for publication. Or so they made it seem when they giggled-talked about it.

One of my favorite encounters was a Masters graduate, (I know this, because that was the first thing out of her mouth after she asked me where the ladies room was located) who perused the cover of my book and said that she would wait until the movie came out, as reading wasn’t  really “her thing.”

At one signing, I overhead a conversation between two women who were browsing the store for a birthday gift. Multi-tattooed woman suggested to her equally tattooed friend: “Why don’t you get your old man a book?”

Response: “Nah, he’s already got a book.”

I also attended Word on The Street one year, an outside event in Toronto, where hundreds of authors line up and sign books. My table was next to another author who complained from the time we arrived 7:00 a.m. until the time we closed shop 6:00 p.m. For every negative comment, I came back with three positive ones and made light of things so she’d hopefully relax and have fun.

No smile. More complaining, grumbling and negativity spewing.

Another author on the other side had brought her dog. She had written a book on dogs, so bringing her beautiful Golden Retriever was a clever prop, in my opinion. The dog was well behaved, but at times, he got restless and would wonder to our area.

I would pet him.

Cranky author next to me said: “Don’t encourage that flea bag mutt, send him back over there.”

I ignored.

Dog lay down near our booth.

Cranky author said, and I quote: “If I had a pair of steel toed boots, I’d kick that bitch back to its owner.”

I smiled at her and said, “If I had a pair of steel toed boots, the puppy wouldn’t be the bitch I’d love to kick back to where she came from.”

Went right over her head of course. It takes all kinds to make this world a diverse and interesting place, so they say. (During yoga I often wonder who “they” are that say these things, but I digress…)

All in all, ninety percent of the people I’ve met at book signings are courteous, pleasant, fun to talk to and have a passion for not only reading, but for the romance genre. The above mentioned characters stand out, because they are the exception.

My favorite encounter at a book signing was when I asked a woman walking by my table, “Do you like romantic comedy?”

Flushed and weighed down with a briefcase and diaper bag she said, “I don’t have time to laugh!”

While chewing the inside of my cheek like a chipmunk on steroids to keep from laughing at her serious expression, I thought to myself, that this stressed out woman could be immortalized in a poster with the caption:

“I am woman. I am invincible. I am pooped!”

 

What do you think? Could you relate? I know there are days when I certainly could be the poster child for that caption.

 

Work-In-Progress Blog Hop – What’s Your Next Big Thing?

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I would like to thank author Laurie Baxter for tagging me in the What’s Your Next Big Thing? blog hop.

Here are Laurie’s questions for me:

What is the working title of your book?

I’m putting the finishing touches on ONCE UPON A KISS, a contemporary romantic comedy with a mistaken identity theme, and a little bit of white magic.

Where did the idea come from for this book?

I love snow globes. I have an embarrassing collection of them, from holiday themed ones to Christopher Robin and Winnie the Poo to the Phantom of the Opera, and ones that I collect during my travels, portraying a landmark of that particular city.

There is something soothing about looking at a snow globe, after turning it upside down. There is also something magical about one particular snow globe that my brother-in-law gifted me many years ago.

I have one particular snow globe that some would say has a paranormal element—I’m still not 100% convinced, but one never knows. This snow globe sparked part of the story for ONCE UPON A KISS.

(If you’d like to read about the snow globe that may have sent messages to me and my family from Heaven, click here to read the blog post where I talk about it).

What genre do your books fall under?

Contemporary romance.

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

This is a hard question to answer because when I create the characters I have a clear vision of what they look like, sound like, their expressions and even body language, and they usually don’t resemble actors. At this point, I can’t assign a particular actor to the characters as I want the reader to have their own vision of who they are. However, if Hollywood ever came knocking, I would sit down with the big guns and give them my vision and go through the tough process of meeting great looking Hollywood actors—tough job, I’m guessing. 😉

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Will the interaction with an eccentric young woman spouting ambiguous sentiments, cement Jason and Sabrina’s shared belief that there is no such thing as true love, trust and happy-ever-after?

(I have to say, putting 100K words into one sentence is harder than writing the whole book.)

Will your book(s) be self-published or represented by an agency?

After careful consideration and exploring other avenues, I have decided to independently publish.

 

Website-OUAK

* * *

Now it’s my turn to nominate fellow authors to share their next big thing.

I nominate: Jasmine Aziz, Denise Agnew and Alexandra Isobel

 

 

 

It’s time to shake this off!

Do you ever feel like this?

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Opinion [uhpin-yuh n] – A personal view, attitude, or appraisal.

“People can tell you to keep your mouth shut, but that doesn’t stop you from having your own opinion.”― Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl

“All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.”― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

“Writing sharing. It’s part of the human condition to want to share things – thoughts, ideas, opinions.” ― Paulo Coelhog

“Disagreeing with someone’s opinion does not mean the opposite thought is coming from hate. It does not mean the person with a different point view is a hater. It simply means people have different ways at looking at the world around them.” ― Selena Robins

 

It’s time to REALLY Shake this off.

 

Thank you, Taylor Swift for the catchy tune that has had celebrities and even non-celebrity-types parody the song, making it a YouTube and social media entertaining sensation.

However, the coined phrase — “haters gonna hate” — bandied around is taking the edge off the true meaning of the word hate.

It’s time to shake that shit off. Especially when I hear tweens calling each other haters because another child happens to have a different opinion about a boy-band, nail polish color or a popular snack.

Hate – [heyt] – Verb (used with object), hated, hating. Feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward. Detest.

Thanks to pop culture this is now trending, big time — “haters gonna hate,” “you’re a hater.”

These phrases have now become synonymous with people who dislike something or express an opposing opinion.

I’m not talking about the people who spew vile rhetoric, hurling insults or being an all-around asshat in a discussion.

I’m talking about people who happen to have a difference of opinion about a movie, musical band, book, yoga pants, purple eyeshadow…basically anyone who disagrees with the majority, or even with a few people.

It’s also thrown at people on social media who offer their thoughts on someone’s behavior—-that someone putting it all out there on social media and inviting people to comment.

These opposing views are NOT hate-filled.

The people with opposing views are NOT haters.

They are people with an opinion.

Hate is a powerful action verb that can have an impact on the receiver when they are called a hater.

You know what’s even a more powerful action verb —- listening.

I know, we’ve all heard the saying, opinions are like assholes and everyone has one. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who doesn’t have an opinion on something. It’s in our nature to express how we feel about the world around us.

It also doesn’t mean that people are jealous (another word that is tossed around) because they don’t agree with how others feel about a book, movie, sparkly running shoes, someone’s behavior, or the price of gas.

It doesn’t mean that our opinion, or their opinion is correct.

It doesn’t mean we are going to change anyone’s mind and sway them to change their opinion.

It certainly doesn’t mean the person or people who have a different view are hateful or haters.

I’ve been known to express my opinion every now and then on a variety of topics. Sometimes I’m in the minority with my opinion, but it never means I hate the other person’s viewpoint. Ever. I don’t hate someone because I don’t agree with them. I don’t agree with them because I’m right and they’re wrong (just kidding), I don’t agree with their thought process or how they viewed a certain subject, or the points they made to express their point of view.

It’s really as simple as that.

Hate has nothing to do with it, and in no time would I ever throw out….haters gonna hate because someone has different tastes in music, books, eyeshadow, or—fill in the blank, basically any topic.

I will tell what I do hate. Racism. Terrorism. Bullying (again, having a difference of opinion is NOT bullying—I’m talking about the harmful bullies). Deplorable acts of violence. When it comes to these things, yes, I hate them and people who commit unspeakable crimes are hateful.

Saying that someone is a hater because they don’t like a certain movie, diminishes the real meaning of the word.

We are flawed human beings with weaknesses.

We all have bad days.

We all have rant days.

We all make mistakes.

We all have a lapse in judgment.

We sometimes say and do dumb-ass shit. Someone calls us on it. They are not haters. They are people who are going to hold us accountable for our dumb-ass-shitness.

We’ve all screwed up at some point, sometimes real bad, and when we do, we are going to gain support from people willing to give us a free pass, no questions asked. No opinions given.

However, we are also going to face people who don’t understand, who are not ready to accept an explanation without more information, and who, yes, right or wrong, will give a strong opinion about it. These people are NOT haters. They are people trying to make sense of a situation.

We are flawed human beings with tremendous strengths.

We have compassion.

We have passion.

We have the ability to love and be loved.

We have the ability to be forgiven and to forgive.

We have opinions.

We have FREE WILL

So, please, let’s stop with the haters gonna hate and

let’s stop the labelling people with a different opinion as  haters. 

Do you agree with my opinion piece?

If you don’t agree with me, let me just say…..”I know people.” 😉

 

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